Monday, November 22, 2004

Well...

It's been awhile since I've posted to this blog, and it's completely not related to writing. But I need to vent...so here it is...

Lately I've come to view life as people who stand on a mountain. How they live/conduct themselves/handle their finances corresponds to their position on said mountain. People who are fiscally smart hunker down, maybe they dig a hole, they know how easy it is to fall off this mountain. Other people, prefer to live life on the edge. They dance very close to the cliff and prefer to stay there. They haven't fallen off...but their position is very precarious. It's very close to the edge. Then one day a terrible storms blows over the mountain. The point is how you weather this storm. Are you snug and secure? Or have you gone so close to the edge that one only needs to blow a puff of wind and you fall right off?

One of my non-immediate family members just suffered major damage to their rental house. It wasn't their fault, just one of those things that happen. Because they are living pretty much paycheck to paycheck, and they won't be able to move back in to their rental house for 2-3 months, they are, essentially, homeless. A lot of it has to do with California because such a fucking expensive place to live...part of it is because they don't handle themselves financially well. They've almost fallen off...luckily they have family who is (and has been) there to bail it out. But once you fall in, it is so hard to get out of that vicious cycle...every paycheck you have is pretty much eaten up for food, bills, kids, etc. There's no opportunity for savings, and if you have no savings, then you are stuck living paycheck to paycheck.

It kind of freaks me out because it could so easily be me and mine. I mean I try my hardest to save and be financially smart, but since I'm getting laid off early next year, and you never know if your spouse is vulnerable to layoff as well...I don't even want to think of what would happen in that scenario.

So for now, it's me planning like mad for a secure financial future in these uncertain times.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Hmm...

Been getting some traffic onto this site...sometimes its from a link from somewhere else...and then when I go to the referrer (no link to this blog)...I wonder how they got from there to here....puzzling...

Work has been extremely busy. As a result, writing has slowed to a trickle. I forget about this blog sometimes and when I come back, I remember that its a nice little place to write. I'm stuck at the last part of chapter 2. The hero and heroine are supposed to have a flirty conversation. I'm stuck! I've been married for nearly 10 years and I've forgotten how to flirt! Criminey. Tried to graft some Sorkin-esque dialogue from some West Wing episode to get an idea...but its not working.

Daughter starts YMCA Camp today and Son starts preschool (whole day and he is still not fully potty trained on #2). I'm a bit anxious and I hope the kiddies are okay.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Very Slow

Dang.  I finally finished chapter 1.  I mean I have enough material in the manuscript for 5 chapters, but I've finally gotten to the point where I am finally happy...completely happy with the way its turning out.  I am a very slow writer!!

I think PMS has a lot to do with it.  When I have it, I don't write.  :(  I don't know why.  Then inspiration strikes like lightning...and last night, I was off writing like a racehorse.

Now I have to refine chapter 2.  :p

I mentioned this to Hubby last night and he was like "Great!  At this rate, you'll be done in 5 years!"  Thanks a lot Hubby.  Heh heh.

I need to set myself on a schedule.

I've been reading Elizabeth George's new writing book and she mentioned that if you want to be published, you need to have talent, discipline and passion.  Pour moi, its the discipline part I need to work on. 

You need bum glue, she says.  Bum is Aussie for ass.  So that's it.  Ass glue, you are being applied to my bum until chapter 2 is completely and utterly brilliant!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Hmm...

Man, I guess its been awhile since I've blogged on this blog.

I thought I didn't need to anymore, that the other blog would be sufficient for blogging. But today I want to blog here. Don't ask me why. Maybe its that time of the month.

So anyways, in regards to writing...having a full time job (which is hella busy) and the kids and the hubby are killing my creative energies. My mom is staying with us for a few weeks as well, and I feel like I have to spend time with her as well (Mom, watch the West Wing with me, the greatest show of all time). Throw in me having to get up at 4:00 am for work, and the writing time is zippo. Zilch. Nada. Sigh.

I've been having problems with the hero, who heretofore was a military guy. I know that romances should steer clear of politics...but reading a lot of mil blogs lately...they are so pro-Bush. It jars my delicate, sheltered, nerdy, bookish, liberal senses. So what is the problem? Why don't I just make Dan a libbie who opposes the war...but still does his duty when called. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM???

My head, that's the problem!!!! Its not gelling!! I am so whining right now. So if he comes back from war as a wounded veteran...does he show signs of post traumatic stress syndrome? I look to the West Wing episode ("Noel", season 2) where Josh is experiencing PTSD...and he kinda "deals" with it in the episode. I'm not sure I want it to be a factor in this whole book. I mean...Dan could have a mild case of it, I guess. But its a pretty serious subject and it takes a long time to recover from (some never do)...I don't just want to leave the impression that the love of a good woman and lotsa sex is the cure to PTSD, which obviously it isn't. But on the other hand, it is a romance. Where is the balance?????

I think I am psyching myself out. I entered that writing contest and won't be hearing back from them until like Sept...so a part of me is still on hold, breathlessly awaiting the validation of my writing self.

Sigh...I'll be glad when the 2 weeks of PMS plus the 5-7 days is over and I can stop playing head games with myself...

BTW, how I feel politically. :)

Friday, May 14, 2004

Dang

I think I'm majorly PMSing. Girl who sits in the cube next to me...likes to torment me from time to time by messing up my desk. She did it just now.

I say, "You bitch," half-jokingly under my breath. She's gay...not that that has anything to do with anything, but she's very sensitive to being called bitch and other words such as that.

So then she's like, "What???"

And I'm like, "Never mind...you'd be offended." Later I wonder if I should apologize to her...but why should I????

A few minutes later, she comes up and messes up my desk again.

"Don't call me a bitch," she said.

"Then don't fuck with my shit," I say back. "I'm in a pissy mood."

"OK, I won't bother you anymore," she replies.

I think we're ok. I think. I'm not going to worry about it...cuz its just one of those days.

Questions...

I just emailed Ch 1 on the manu to a fellow blogger to see what she thinks. Besides Hubby, who always says, "Oh, its great honey." I have a few online buddies who thought it was pretty good. I'm still frustrated at not being able to find a critique partner/group. Either it doesn't gel or they are too snobby. Sigh.

With only two weeks to go until I have to send it in to the writing contest, it still needs to be polished....Ch 1 that is...and I am starting to hyperventilate now.

Sigh. I have to start visualizing chapter 2 now. No problem. Really.